i was teaching my grandma to use computer so we can talk on skype and such but today she went kinda mad at me because “i didnt show her the knitting programme” and i was like what
and it comes out she accidentally opened ms excel and found out its a great way to create knitting patterns
my grandma is 82
does medusa have pubes and if so are they snakes too
my favourite part of this website is that no matter what ridiculous names we call bennyhill chasemusic, we all know exactly who we’re talking about
imagine if every single person in the world simultaneously said ‘mayonnaise’
the night bloggers are here early
That would be a loud mayonnaise
I guess you could say it’ would be a mayonoise
Did you just
IS MAYONNAISE AN INSTRUMENT
on a scale of one to invade russia in the winter
how bad is your idea
rejecting hitler from art school
electing george bush twice
hooking up with taylor swift
giving the westboro baptist church internet access
my brother tried to pick up a banana to make it look like he was talking on the phone but all the bananas in the bunch came with it and he just looked at me and went “i guess it’s a conference call”
don’t encourage him
Me: an attractive person
Police officer: What? I don't get it.
Me: I want an attractive person, probably some celebrity all of Tumblr loves, held against me.
Police officer: Oh I get it. That's pretty good.
Me: Yeah, it gets a lot of notes.
Police officer: But I mean we should probably take you in. I mean it looks like you killed a guy.
What To Do If Somebody Knocks On The Bathroom Door While You Are Using The Toilet
- Say “I’m pooping”
- Knock back
- Shriek loudly
- Say “I need an adult”
- Say “Nobody is in here, please come in”
- Ask “Did you hear that?”
- Threaten to poop on the toilet seat if they knock again
- Make kissing noises