ShinyTeaCup

damngruchy:

supermassiveasshole:

i was teaching my grandma to use computer so we can talk on skype and such but today she went kinda mad at me because “i didnt show her the knitting programme” and i was like what

and it comes out she accidentally opened ms excel and found out its a great way to create knitting patterns

my grandma is 82

piesexualdean:

turtwink:

does medusa have pubes and if so are they snakes too

savarend:

my favourite part of this website is that no matter what ridiculous names we call bennyhill chasemusic, we all know exactly who we’re talking about

ohthereichenfeels:

whatdoesridiculousmean:

whales-gather-here:

meetmeinthetardis-sh:

whales-gather-here:

wolves-within:

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

imagine if every single person in the world simultaneously said ‘mayonnaise’

the night bloggers are here early

That would be a loud mayonnaise

I guess you could say it’ would be a mayonoise

Did you just

IS MAYONNAISE AN INSTRUMENT

NO PATRICK

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

merelyafleshwound:

luciferisasexybagofdicks:

iepidemic:

hotapplestrider:

twelvejammiedodgers-andafez:

on a scale of one to invade russia in the winter

how bad is your idea

rejecting hitler from art school

holy shit

electing george bush twice

hooking up with taylor swift

giving the westboro baptist church internet access

myreligioniskindness:

explosion2:

myreligioniskindness:

my brother tried to pick up a banana to make it look like he was talking on the phone but all the bananas in the bunch came with it and he just looked at me and went “i guess it’s a conference call”

A++ recovery

don’t encourage him

high resolution »

Police officer: Anything you say will be held against you.
Me: an attractive person
Police officer: What? I don't get it.
Me: I want an attractive person, probably some celebrity all of Tumblr loves, held against me.
Police officer: Oh I get it. That's pretty good.
Me: Yeah, it gets a lot of notes.
Police officer: But I mean we should probably take you in. I mean it looks like you killed a guy.

high resolution »

crowmunist:

nialltargaryen:

school

college

work

fuTURE

HONOR

(Source: applesarefallingoutofmybutt)

brandnewswastikas:

What To Do If Somebody Knocks On The Bathroom Door While You Are Using The Toilet

• Say “I’m pooping”
• Knock back
• Shriek loudly
• Nothing
• Say “I need an adult”
• Say “Nobody is in here, please come in” 
• Ask “Did you hear that?”
• Cuss
• Threaten to poop on the toilet seat if they knock again 
• Make kissing noises